Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Best Ignorantic Post in 2011 Goes To....

It doesn't get any better than this folks! Happy New Year and please tell all of your friends about Ignorantics in 2012! THANK YOU!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Y'all Have Got to Stop Using the Lord's Name in Vein!

This Ignorantic was an older woman who thought she was admonishing younger folks who were using profanity on Facebook. She boldly interrupted a thread by saying "Now, y'all have got to stop using the Lord's name in vein! Everything is GD this and GD your mouves!"

Okay, mother always told me to respect my elders, BUT damn lady..."using the Lord's name in vein"? What were you thinking about when you typed this? The blood of Jesus? and then to add insult to injury, you go and try to pluralize "mouths" and call it "mouves"!

I think a prayer if intercession would be in order...

I Just Got a Job as a Paraplegic for a Law Firm!

Ignorantics are your school, at your job, in your family, and YES, in the Narcotics Anonymous meetings too!

Now, ladies and gents, no place is sacred when it comes to bad grammar and ignorantics. A place of healing and anonymity can easily be turned into a den of rampant ignorantics. One of my readers, a drug counselor reported that one of the addicts at a local NA meeting happily announced that she was just hired as a paraplegic at a local law firm.

Paraplegic? Really? I wonder what the paralegals have to say about this new employee?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Let's Neill and Pray...

While most of us kneel and pray to a supreme being...our Narcissistic Ignorantic prefers to "Neill and prey" and she doesn't understand that this is also NOT a typo. Readers, I think these ignorantics will have us shaking our heads well into 2012....

Carry on...

Ciara is Sportin' Her Waste-Length Hair!

This is an oldie but goodie Ignorantic favorite that I am bringing out for one last encore before 2012. It was uttered by a Narcissistic Ignorantic who could not get it through her thick head of "waste-length" hair that this was NOT a typo.

Carry on....don't "waste" your time trying to figure out why she didn't get it!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

What if Your Child Catches Ammonia For a Pair of Shoes?

Once again, a video clip that needs no commentary. However, there is one young lady who commented about the long lines folks were standing in to get these shoes and she said "What if your child get ammonia trying to get a pair of shoes?" Ammonia? Really?

I almost caught pneumonia laughing at this. Carry on...

Christmas BOGO SALE: Buy One Pondsetter and Get Two Free!

Today, I went to the Safeway to get some last minute things for our first Christmas BBQ Dinner when I heard over the loudspeaker the following message: 

Today we have a special on our "pondsetters". Buy one "pondsetter" and get (2) FREE.

As soon as she announced it, folks were running over to that area to grab their (3) poinsettia.

The only reason why everyone knew what she was talking about was that she said go to the floral department to pay for the "pondsetters". It really was a great deal, but the Ignorantic manager who announced the sale should NEVER be allowed to make in-store announcements again.

Carry on...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Mary Christmas Everybody!

If you know someone whose first name is "Mary" and her last name is "Christmas", then I can see these two words being used together. However, these two words should NEVER be seen together when you are wishing someone a "Merry Christmas"...shame on the Ignorantic that sent this out in an email blast to over 100 people!

Carry on...

Only an Ignorantic Would Wear This Shoe!!!

This brings new meaning to "horseshoe"....

Monday, December 19, 2011

I Want a New "Fleas" Coat for Christmas!

My Ignorantics readers love to put their family members on blast...especially their Mommas...this one is no different. In this post, my reader said her Momma told her that for Christmas, she wanted a new "fleas" coat.

Now she may not have had this (pictured left) kind of coat in mind, but I think this little puppy would appreciate a good "Fleas" coat instead of this cutsie pink "fleece" coat that her owner purchased for her.

Carry on...

I Would Say Something about..., but I Don't Want You to be Defended! we all have our insecurities, and once these things are brought to our attention, some of us can and will get defensive BUT I've never gotten "defended" when someone brought something like this to my attention. I think this particular Ignorantic is a tad bit "paranoise".

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I Need to Pawn My Travaski Crystal Ring!!! I am watching the show "Hardcore Pawn" tonight and this came on. All you have to do is watch while this young lady tries to pawn her grandmother's "Travaski Crystal Ring". When the pawn shop manager tries to correct her, she gets indignant with him and then watch what happens...This is Ignorantics at its best!!!! [Warning: There is some explicit language]

Monday, December 12, 2011

Ignorantic Shower Singers: Part 1

Now, we all know that the world LOVES a shower singer. Haven't we all grabbed a bottle of shampoo in the shower and pretended to be our favorite singer?

Well, shower singing goes to a whole new level when an Ignorantic grabs the mic, or should I say the shampoo bottle? One of my readers sent in a story of her Ignorantic Man who is a professional shower singer (professional in his mind only) and this is how he sang one of the lines from the Temptations hit, "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" :

“ I KNOW YOU WANNA LEAVE ME! BUT I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO. IF I HAD TO BEG & PLEAD AT THE SYMPHONY.. [STATION BREAK/PAUSE: they rest was unintelligible she said, probably because he didn't know the words] AIN'T TO PROUD TO BEG, BABY, PLEASE DO LEAVE ME GURL!”

Really??? Leave Him! Leave Him! While You Can!!!!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

What's in the Passed is in the Passed!

I don't know about y'all but I'd rather live in the "passed" than live in the "past"!

I wonder which one is quicker? I think I'll ask the Ignorantic who said this. I may be shocked about how the answer will affect my "presents".