Monday, February 27, 2012

WARNING: I Will Cuss You Out, If You Don't Leave My Child ALOAN!

First and foremost, shout out to all the educators out there who are putting in the work to educate our youth. An even bigger shout out to those who have to deal with Ignorantic parents. 

Henceforth, my next Ignorantic...the parent who is pissed because a teacher disciplined their child. This is how the letter/note reads (short and to the point):

"if you dont leave my child ALOAN im going to FUC you up"

Really? Leave her "a loan"? and you are going to do what? "FUC her up"? Really? Wow, folks, we are living is hard times when we can't curse correctly. I mean, I know folks get mad and everything but who misspells a curse word? curse words are usually 2-4 letters long...and since when did any teacher need to leave a student "a loan"? I wish Sallie would leave me one and pay of my debt!

Some Ignorantics stand on their own with little to no discussion...this is one of them.

If You're An Ignorantic, You Love The "Mines"

This will make almost 2 years that I have been writing this Blog, and I still cannot understand the Ignorantic's obsession with the "mines".

If they are not "mining" their business, they are reminding you that I got "mines" and you got yours, or perhaps they have half a "mine" to tell you about yourself for calling them out on their love of cavernous places.

I don't know about you, but all this talk about "mines" is making me reflect on those "mines" who came before us and paved the way...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Ignorantics Love to Blame it on the Auto Correct

Alcoholics, avid partygoers, and Jamie Fox like to "blame it on the alcohol" when they make mistakes, but Ignorantics...well, Ignorantics LOVE to blame it on the "Auto Correct" !

"That's tight...oops, I mean right!" I said it; my Ignorantic friends love to blame their ignorantics on the auto correct feature that "we all know...oops, I mean now" enjoy on our iPods, iPads, and smartphones. It is that wonderful little feature that catches our mistake and corrects it before we hit "send".

How many times have you seen this or something similar to this in a signature block from a smartphone:

"Sent from Bonnie's iPad2.  Please excuse the typos and misspelled words that you might see. My auto-correct tends to be a little hyper-sensitive." 

Really?? I'd say your auto-correct is more "TYPER-sensitive" than "hyper-sensitive". Those darn touchscreens will expose you every time! Carry on...

P.S. If there are any mistakes in this post, blame it on the auto-correct!

I Will Not Be "Taking for Granite"!

Nothing riles an ignorantic up more than being taking for "granite". This latest PhD ignorantic told his wife that she was not going to be taking him for "granite" in an email and she is putting is doctorate degree butt on blast!

Now, let's this a autocorrect issue, perhaps a striking of close keys? or is he just thinking about doing some kitchen remodeling?

Well, one things is for sure, he's hot and he's leaving no "stone" unturned!

I am Going to Send You a Manonymous Message now Ignorantics is gender based? Nothing says ignorant like an Ignorantic woman sending a "manonymous message to her 'MAN'"

I wonder if he was able to figure out who sent him the message...for now, she will remain lips are "seals"!

Whitney Elizabeth Houston (1963-2012): Did You Know Her Homecoming Services were on February 18, 2012?

On February 11, 2012, the world lost its "VOICE", Whitney Elizabeth Houston. She was my favorite recording artist, and I mourn her death. Yesterday, as I watched her incredibly beautiful service, I received an email from my girlfriend that exclaimed "This a beautiful Homecoming Service! Classic!"

Really? Homecoming? I beg to differ...what's classic is how her Homegoing Service suddenly turned into a Homecoming. Now, I know it was upbeat, full of music, some shouting and dancing but what I saw yesterday was a far cry from the Homecomings I am accustomed to attending. 

I guess I will have to give this Ignorantic a grief pass for the moment...

Click to read:  Homegoing Service Program

Rest in Peace Nippy...I hope you got a good laugh from this one! Charge it to her head not to her heart!

Friday, February 17, 2012

I've Been on a High Eighties!

Hello Ignorantics Readers! I've been on a bit of a hiatus but now I'm back! I am feeling the love and all the emails I received wondering where I've been. One of my Ignorantics readers sent me an ignorantic message that said "just wondering if you are on a 'high eighties'"...Really? I can tell she really missed me!