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Monday, February 28, 2011

What is Your Ignorantic Score?

What is your Ignorantic Score? Here is the point scale:

[1] You are ignorant and you can't be helped because you don't realize you are ignorant (it is genetic); verbs and pronouns are not your friend, and it is very possible that your first and middle name were "made up" (i.e., LaTraysha, ReDanica, KaRonald, KaWalgreens, DeMoniker, etc.)

[2] You are ignorant with an attitude and you refuse to seek help (i.e., you practice your ignorantics and carry it with swagger) ;

[3] You are ignorant because you think it is fashionable to be ignorant (i.e., loud, wrong, but fashionable with the latest designer wear (fake and/or real);

[4] You are ignorant based on the region that you live in and everyone around you is just as ignorant as you (i.e., you continue to repeat incorrect words using your mideast, northeast or southern dialect);

[5] You are a borderline ignorantic with a slight chance of redemption [in ignorantic therapy, this is commonly referred to as "cloudy with a chance of rain"] (i.e., you are ignorant but continue to lull in your ignorance because you're lazy and you think its funny);

[6] You are beginning to understand that what you "think" and "say" at the same time is never going to come out right (i.e., you are a hyper ignorantic that cannot master your impulsive ignorantics - the words come out of your mouth before you have a chance to catch them);

[7] You are at the beginning of the reformation process; you have acknowledged your ignorance and you are beginning to take steps to correct it (i.e., you have been an ignorantic all of your life, but you just got a new job and you know you can't continue to speak like that around your co-workers);

[8] You are a modern day ignorantic who occasionally drops a few "I" bombs [ignorantic bombs] but you mean well (i.e., you present well but subject/verb agreement eludes you due to the casual nature in which you speak - you tend to be devoted to speaking in the vernacular);

[9] You overthink before you write and speak, often overusing spell-check and grammar check just so you can prove that you are not an ignorantic. This category also frequently attempts to rationalize or analyze ignorantic speech (i.e., you work in a field where writing is important and you would cringe if anyone caught a writing error in your email, your PowerPoint slides, or during a presentation/meeting);

[10] You are an educated Ignorantic who can and will drop a few "I" bombs BUT you know the difference and your use of Ignorantics may only occur 1-10 times per year [educated is defined as a college degree or better]

Ok...so what was your ignorantic score? If your score falls between 1-5, you still need help, and you should buy stock in the spell-checking feature on all word processing software, use Google DAILY, and buy William Strunk, Jr.'s The Elements of Style and use it like a Bible. If your score falls between 6-8, you are indeed an ignorantic, but you are beginning to turn the corner of hope because you made a conscious decision to take this test [I am proud of you...baby steps remember?]. If you scored a 9 or a 10, you are not safe, you are probably a reformed ignorantic in denial. Now, Mr. or Ms./Mrs. 9 or 10, you are probably saying to yourself, I scored high on this darn test, why is she calling me a reformed ignorantic? First, it takes one to know one. Second, the answer is quite simple: you took the test! You are not even sure if you are an ignorantic...

Please post your scores in the Comment box below, and tell us why you think you obtained that score. Come on...don't be scurd!

Did You Know That OSHA Determines if Your Office Equipment is "[Eco]nomic"?

Biotechnology is an applied science concerned with designing and arranging things people use so that the people and things interact most efficiently and safely. Thus, the term "ergonomic"...well, to an Ignorantic not only does the office pictured to the left look like a drum set, but it is not "ergonomic", instead it is pronounced "economic".  Ergo...Eco...see the possibilities for confusion? In an ignorantic kind of way, we all aspire to have an office that meets OSHA standards of "economics"...I mean ergonomics! [SMH]

Friday, February 25, 2011

...And The Grammy For Ignorantic Song of the Year Goes To

Jennifer Hudson & R. Kelly for "Where you AT?" We all knew she was nominated (in my mind), but this listener thinks that she deserves to win for the lyrical content and for the drug "slanging" thug she was looking for "in the freezing cold".
 
Here is the link to the new video: The New "Where You At?" Video

I have to add that this vocal performance can only be eclipsed by the way she looks in this video. Congrats JHud on the new "YOU"!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Well, If Its Any Constellation...

I was in a meeting last Wednesday when one of the invitees was trying to comfort us by stating that although we were losing certain services, we were gaining other support. She started the sentence by saying "Well, if its any constellation, we will be getting support from the IT department to assist us with these web issues". [BLANK STARE] Folks, we have to leave the "stars" out of our discussions when they have no business there! I mean, I enjoy looking at them too, but not in a daytime business meeting! When you are talking about consoling folks, it is an act of "consolation" not "constellation"... I guess y'all will get it right one day. Now, let me get out of here and go to the Planetarium! All this talk about stars has got me yearning for some good ole star consternation! LOL!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

They Say a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

Well readers...I'm afraid that I am speechless on this one. Ignorantics can come about in pictures too!  Just look at it...nothing else need be said...[but I can't resist, so I will continue]

I would imagine that some would ask...but is this really "blackface"? Beyonce would probably say, "This isn't Blackface; it is Brownface; and it is tastefully done because I am Sasha Fierce!

What words come to mind when you see this picture?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Ignorantics Visits WHUR-FM's "Daily Drum" With Harold Fisher

Did you see that Pepsi Max commercial during the Super Bowl? Well, folks are talking and WHUR-FM radio and news veteran, Harold Fisher, wanted to get Ignorantics' take on the commercial. Here it is:



You can catch the Daily Drum, Monday - Friday, 7-7:30 pm on WHUR-FM in Washington, D.C. and also by tuning in at http://www.whur.com/dailydrum.

Wishing All of You a Happy Valen[time's] Day!

Loving wishes to all Ignorantics and Ignorantic blog readers out there! St. Valentime is an ignorantic!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Child Ignorantics: My Son Has a Great "Rememory"!

Folks, we have to catch them while they are young...studies have shown (unscientific studies of course) that ignoranticism can be genetic. Given the fact that I am a reformed ignorantic, I am constantly looking for signs of ignorantics in my 6 year son.

Today, he dropped his first ignorantic. It was a level one ignorantic because (1) it was not a word; (2) it was the combination of two words with a similar meaning; and (3) he used it in a sentence in its proper context. Level one ignorantics are warnings of a succession of ignorantics to come. So, when my son said to me: "Mommy, I am searching my rememory for the password to my Nick Jr. Arcade". I quickly went into ignorantics intervention, paused, and quickly asked him to repeat what he said. He thought about it. He immediately repeated "rememory" and corrected himself by saying "Oops Mommy, I should have said "memory", I guess I was trying to remember my password stored in my memory banks!" LOL! Out of the mouths of babes! Early intervention is key folks!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

"I Had Fun on My Little [Her] Escapade With Y'all!" [WARNING: This Video Contains Profanity]

Although this video contains profanity, I could not resist posting it because (1) it is funny; (2) I am sure many of the women transitioning to natural hair can relate to it; and (3) it is absolutely laced with ignorantics [BINGO!].

First, you will be hit with the "her" instead of "hair" and then the assault gets worse. Folks, let's be real about this...this is not an issue involving southern dialect. I have plenty of friends from the South, and they would never say "her" instead of "hair". This is just plain wrong! Ignorantics running amok!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What Building is the Online Class In?

A student just sent me an email asking me how does he get to the online class? What building is it in? *BLANK STARE*