Sunday, October 28, 2012

Meet the Kahns!

According to one of my readers' cousin, this is Fara Kahn and Chaka Kahn and somehow they are related. What do you think? See the resemblance?

"I Might Coulda Got..." a few days ago, I was in the line waiting to purchase my items at the grocery store...a few feet from the Customer Service booth. Suddenly, and without provocation I was verbally assaulted by an Senior Citizen Ignorantic. That's right a SCI.

SCIs are the worst ignorantics because they are seasoned. Almost like collard greens that have been cooking on the stove for hours in their juices...seasoned all the way down to the ham hocks. Well, anyway, this assault on my ears and the English language was a phrase that I have been hearing for years. I don't know its origin, I don't know why older folks still say it, but it gives me the worst headache ever.

"I might coulda got". You've heard it, right? It has been around longer than "pacific". It is one of the staples of Ignorantics and it must be stopped. How can you "coulda got"? and then adding "might" to it as if you may change your mind? I won't bother going into how she used it in a sentence because that would just be too cruel. Let's just say for now...when we hear it, let the person know that it is ignorant and that they should never say it again. No one "might coulda got" anything...I am so serious...

Imma Bus You In Your Head!!!

Folks, this is an oldie but goody. How long have we heard folks say they were going to "bus someone in their head"? Old ignorantics die hard!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Chad Ochocinco Will Be in Your Facentity Soon...

Is it too much to expect that college-educated folks can spell "vicinity"?

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Lord, I Need to Be Reframed!

Lord please give me strength...I am trying to refrain from putting Dr. Wade PhD on SUPER blast!

I know many of you wish you could be reframed! Maybe instead of a 11x7 frame, you can get a 4x6 frame! Something smaller than your current frame! Reduce! Reduce! Crop! Minimize! Reframe! Reframe! LOL!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Ignorantics: Irregular Plural Nouns Basic Skills Puzzle

Now, we all know that there are nouns that are both singular and plural. Examples: deer, moose, sheep, swine, etc. Then, there is the word "fish". Look at the puzzle piece to the left. It is part of a puzzle that shows the singular on the left and the plural on the right. This skills puzzle is called "Irregular Plural Nouns", and one of my readers, a speech pathologist, was about to use this puzzle with one of her clients until she pulled out the puzzle piece pictured to your left and exclaimed "Aw Hayle Naw!" [pause] Ok, slight embellishment, more like "Let me contact Ignorantics to put this puzzle manufacturer on blast! This is not correct."

Lesson: [this is for my expert grammarians out there] Yes, you can say "fishes" but only if you are referring to several individual species of fish. For example, if you visit an aquarium and you see a tank filled with Bonnethead Shark, Green Moray Eel, and Porcupinefish  don't be surprised to see a sign that says: "Fishes of the Atlantic Coral Reef". "Fishes" used in that form is CORRECT, but the way that it is used in this puzzle pictured to the left, is incorrect. Now, to all my Ignorantics out there...go get you some fishes for dinner tonight!!!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Happy 1th Birthday!!!

...and there was no one at the store to correct this?

Friday, October 5, 2012