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Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Years!!!!

How many times have you heard an ignorantic wish you a "HAPPY NEW YEARS!"? I know...so many times that you can't count the ways; well, I for one am getting sick of the ignorantical salutation...I just wonder how many years are they talking about? five? ten? twenty new years? Is there a limit to the wishes or is there an infinite amount? Don't they know that each year, you can only wish someone a Happy New Year one year at a time?

Now, don't try to get cute with me and mention the phrase "Happy New Year's Day"....NOT THE SAME! This is referring to the day, January 1, not the salutation that everyone drunk and/or sober blurts out during parties! Shame on you Ignorantics for carrying on this tradition, and you cannot "blame it on the alcohol"! SMH all the way into 2011 at this one!

Happy New Year to all my Ignorantics readers!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Eva Bin to Walmarx?

This retailer is a social networking onsite location for Ignorantics. They can dress the way they want, play the way the want, and butcher the King's English anywhere in the store. The thing I find really offensive about the Ignorantic connection with Walmart is that the Ignorantic refers to "Walmart" as "Walmarx"....[blank stare]

Why you say? Well, because they can and to this day, it goes unchecked. I don't know about y'all, but the next time someone calls this store Walmarx, I am going to refer them to customer service.

Is Steve Harvey an Ignorantic?

This SNL spoof needs no introduction or commentary. I have only one question: Is Steve Harvey an Ignorantic?
Watch: SNL Spoof on Steve Harvey

Monday, December 27, 2010

According to Mary J Blige, Tina Mari Passed Away Yesterday

On December 26, 2010, a music legend passed away...her name was
Mary Christine Brockert aka "Teena Marie". She is being referred to as the "Ivory Queen of Soul", a reference that I think is quite fitting for this talented artist/songwriter/musician. Teena Marie's music is timeless and her legacy will be unchallenged. I am one of the biggest Teena Marie fans on the planet. This is why I am blogging about the Ignorantic Tweeter pictured to the left, Mary J Blige.

Once the news of Teena Marie's death hit Twitter, immediately people began tweeting their condolences. Mary J Blige was among those people who wanted to express her sorrow upon the passing of Teena Marie:

Tina Mari inspired me vocally as a child. Her songs I sang in the mirror with a hair brush. I'm so hurt.

I'll love u forever Tina Mari. Portuguese Love, Casanova Brown, Square Biz, I need your lovin, all of your music

In my heart she's Tina, So rest in peace Tina, i love u. Every girl that grew up in the hood , with her (cont

Rest in peace Teena Mari. My Love love for u is forever.
Ok...earth to Mary J Blige...earth to Mary J. Blige..."Teena Marie" passed away NOT "Tina Mari" Moreover, nothing says Ignorantic more than repetition. Ignorantics are famous for repeating ignorantics in succession as if they are correct. It begs the question, if you are such a fan, why then don't you know the correct spelling of the artist's name. Well, apparently, Teena's fans did not take too kindly to these ignorantics either and began tweeting the following:

@MrPeteyWheat: Show ya love Marey Jay!! --> RT @maryjblige: I'll love u forever Tina Mari.

@Royal_Flyness: How do u feel about Teena Marie tho? -->RT @maryjblige: Tina Mari inspired me vocally as a child.

@LirisC : Last time we're gonna teach this class...its TEENA MARIE.....

@ElliottWilson: RT @maryjblige: Rest in peace Teena Mari. My Love love for u is forever. <-----(You Gettin' closer Mary!)

@Royal_Flyness: Almost Mary, almost ---> RT @maryjblige: Rest in peace Teena Mari. My Love love for u is forever.

@Royal_Flyness: Yea, she was MJB's friend --->RT @JasFly: Did 'Tina Marie' pass away yesterday as well? Cuz there's a lot of you expressing condolences for her

@aaaye_iTSKENDRA : Can we say "slaughtered?" RT @maryjblige: In my heart she's Tina, So rest in peace Tina, i love u.

@RBinJZ : Teena Marie, sheesh! #becarefulwhospeaksforyou --->RT @maryjblige Tina Mari inspired me vocally as a child. Her songs I sang in the mirror...

@jaybendy: SPELL the womans name right Mary!!! ---->RT @maryjblige: Rest in peace Teena Mari. My Love love for u is forever.

@Rojjy: You fail 3 times @maryjblige *hangs head in shame*


@MusicSoulRebel: I love @Nelly_Mo & @Maryjblige but why are celebrities calling @MsTeenaMarie...Tina Marie???? I thought yall knew her

@poeticjoia : @maryjblige it's spelled Teena Marie

@JayZNation: How many times is @maryjblige gonna misspell Teena Marie's name? We're on misspelling 4 now.

@K_Mapp: Teena Marie died too. ---->RT @maryjblige: Tina Mari inspired me vocally
So, what is the lesson learned here? Before you write a condolence note or message, please take the time to learn the correct spelling of the person's name. It is a bit disingenuous to claim to love and adore someone's work and you spell that person's name incorrectly not once, not twice, but three times! It was such as flagrant oversight or gaffe, Rolling Stones Magazine printed it unedited: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/mary-j-blige-alicia-keys-pay-tribute-to-teena-marie-20101227

The second lesson, and this is the most important one...all Ignorantics should avoid Twitter like the plague! There are no editing mechanisms on Twitter; no spellcheck, no grammar check...just a perfect opportunity to join huge vacuum of free unrelenting thought, ignorance, and plenty of space and room for virtual breeding with fellow ignorantics. I have attempted to put up a firewall on Twitter by opening up a Twitter account, but I cannot compete with ignorantic trending on Twitter that is far too vast and more powerful than I had ever imagined.

So, I am asking all of my Twitter followers and Ignorantics readers to start throwing virtual blocks and elbows at Twittering Ignorantics and put them in check like the Tweeters quoted above. Your not hurting them; you are helping them.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Eva had a Nalader?

When I was a little girl, we used to eat these candies everyday...my favorite flavors were Apple and Banana. In the 70's, they were called "Now and Later" candy. In fact, if you purchased them today, they are still called "Now and Later". However, that has not stopped the generational ignorantics from calling these little darlings, a "Nalader".

Today, I received a text from a friend who told me that a professional athlete called this candy "Naladers"...some of you need not recoil and act surprised because you have been saying "Naladers" for decades without rebuff. It is wrong and you know it is wrong!

All this talk about candy does conjure up memories of candies from my past...so here it is...enjoy: Old Time Candy

Thursday, December 23, 2010

This is the Time of the Year When All of Your Ants & Uncles Gather for Christmas

Christmas is that time of the year when you gather with friends and family to celebrate the season. You might see relatives that you have not seen in a long time. Usually, a good time is had by all...

I particularly love Christmas because it is one of those rare moments when all of my aunts are together in one room. Now, I said my "aunts", but at an Ignorantic Christmas celebration, your aunts are referred to as "ants". That's right, I said it and many of you say it too..."Merry Christmas Ant Charlotte"!

Oh Merrillan, My Merrillan....

Ever been to Baltimore, Merrillan? Well, Ignorantics sponsor bus tours there on a regular, and they seem to like the landscape!  Now, I was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland (and by the way, some Ignorantics call it Ballmore-but that is another post), so I can honestly say that I have not lived or worked in Merrillan. I can claim a few Baltimore-originated Ignorantics but not this one. This is truly a "SMH" moment...I thought Merlyn was a magician?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Every Home Should Have a Secuzzi?

Whirlpool tubs, Jacuzzi tubs, hot tubs.....they are called many things by many different people, but some Ignorantics call them a secuzzi. Yes, that's right, I said a secuzzi. Now, this is not something you will hear in a foreign country or just in the South...you will hear it anywhere; in the club, in the hair salon, in school, among academics, during family discussions...and everyone seemingly knows that it is incorrect. After all, what is a secuzzi? When you "Google" the word, the suggestion "scuzz" or "scuzzy" presents as a possible search result. Ironic isn't it...that the closest search term to one of the most misused words in the ignorantic lanuguage  is defined as:   

–adjective, scuzz·i·er, scuzz·i·est. Slang . dirty, grimy, sordid, or repulsive; disgusting.

 
Since logic is rare when ignorantics speak incorrectly, must I point out what may be a bit of a breakthrough for the ignorantic with this word?...might they be trying to say that a jacuzzi tub is nasty, grimy, repulsive and dirty? Did you know that when you use a jacuzzi tub...:
 scum, dirt, skin cells, oils, and other residues build up, not only on the surface of the tub, but also in the mechanical parts the water comes in contact with. These mix with the minerals in the water and form scale deposits. The smooth surfaces that once let the bacteria slide off, now collect the bacteria and give it a place to grow and contaminate the water. The warm, dark plumbing inside the Jacuzzi provides an ideal breeding ground for microorganisms that can cause bladder, kidney, vaginal, skin, respiratory, and eye infections, just to name a few.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2010768/how_to_care_for_a_jacuzzi_tub_pg2.html

Yikes! In an attempt to try to figure out the correlation between jacuzzi and secuzzi, I have managed to unearth the reason why I don't want to own one! Y'all keep your dirty secuzzis and I'll stick to my old fashion bathtub!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Murry Crissmus Ignorantics!

Happy Holidays!

Well, that is what you say when you are an ignorantic...wanna know why? 'Cause you cannot pronounce "Merry Christmas"...do you think I am exaggerating? Go to your mirror in the bathroom and say "Merry Christmas"...if you have to repeat this salutation, then you should just move on to "Happy Holidays"....'cause most of y'all say "Murry Crissmus" and you know you do!

The Best Christmas Gift for an Ignorantic! [Just Send this Page Link to Them]










Happy Berfday! Raise Your Glass & Toast With Some Licka!

Isn't it shameful that ignorantics can't pronounce "th"? I know that this is a particular point of contention for toddlers and some grade school kids, but grown folks saying "berfday"? Thank goodness the bakeries know how to spell or else there would be a whole bunch of berfday cakes out there! I think if I were to see a berfday cake, I would need to drink some "licka"...oops, I mean liquor!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Have You Ever Been Through Tribals and Tribulations?

You can't say that ignorantics aren't poetic! "Tribals and Tribulations"?...Yikes, alliteration at it's worst! Who else but an ignorantic would say that they have been through many "tribals and tribulations"?

Unfortunately, the younger ignorantics have the ignorantic base on LOCK. They control the creativity and brevity of ignoranticism. It used to be about ignorance, now it is an art. There is absolutely no correlation between "trials and tribulations" and "tribals and tribulations". NONE. So, what are we talking about? It is scary to think that this could be an art, but I am beginning to think that it may be heading in that direction...almost like a movement. The Renaissance?

Remember the Tea Party at it's inception? Just a small annoyance; one election later and now we have Senator Tea Party. Could we be looking to elect our first Ignorantic Representative or Senator? Are there elected Congressman in there right now hiding under their college-educated pages? 

I'd like to say that this was said by a ignorant person, but it was a graduate student. A person with a bachelor's degree who was working towards a Master's degree...and to add insult to injury, the person also wrote a note to me with the same message. Thus, this ignorantic fell right through the grammatical colander and landed on a sheet of paper.

So, if you have ever been through tribals and tribulations, and you are ready to give up; do us all a favor and smoke a "piece" pipe before you utter these words again!

Where You At?

Ignorantics love to play hide and seek...however, they have difficulty with prepositional phrases, therefore, whenever an ignorantic asks you "where you at?" You should help them out by saying "behind the preposition...you found me AND I'm a NOUN!"

If you get that blank stare...then just give up.

Who Says Young Ignorantics Can't Be Closet Racists?