Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memoriam Day!

Holidays and national days of commemoration are not off limits for the Ignorantic. So, this weekend when I was in Giant getting the Ribs for out cookout, I was treated to an Ignorantic phrase in Aisle 5.

This was an older Ignorantic who was having family over for a cookout, and she was shopping for the food. She was on her Bluetooth (something that annoys me to no end when you are in a store shopping), and she said to the other person on the phone "I am in the Giant picking up some last minute things for our Memoriam Day cookout". I could tell from the look on her face that the person listening corrected her; to which she responded "whateva".

A special thank you to that caller. You believe in intervention. You care. Thank you for trying. Baby steps...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Ignorantic Names - Part 2

There is a lot to consider when you decide to brand your child with an ignorant name: their resumes when they apply for jobs, commencement activities - how folks will react to hearing their name called, the grade school and secondary education years when teachers call attendance out loud, and many, many more examples.

The bottom line is that this kind of branding is beyond ignorant; it is downright criminal. I started this madness in my post last Monday; now here is Part Two. Thanks again to all of my readers who are emailing me with these ridiculous names. I wish I could say these are jokes, but NONE of these names are jokes. Someone's child answers to this ridiculousness.

Here is Part 2 of the List:

1. Twins: Love and Lovely
2. Tweet LOLita
3. SMHarley Candie
4. Cash Benjamin
5. Frito Layza
6. Gaznelectric Metra
7. Kaizer Permanentia
8. Twins: Hennessey  & Martel
9. Evian
10. Cash Collateral
11. Orgasmy Pleasure
12. Kutta Beatz
13. Juicyfruit Jazmine
14. Flowers Bloomina
15. Weigh Morton
16. Canchu Sea
17. Greed Lawson
18. Camper Nelson
19. Constant Lee
20. Canei Distilla
21. Cantolope Castidy
22. Saudi Benini
23. Candle Vanilla
24. Chamomille Lyndsay
25. Coach Baguette
26. Like (Named after Facebook button: CBS Article about "Like")
27. Venti Chai
28. Camera Lynns
29. Careful Precious
30. Wonder Brayson

To Read My First Post on Ignorantic Names, go here: Top 50 Ignorantic Names

Thanks to all my readers for your overwhelming responses for this post. I could not have done it without you! A BIG THANK YOU!!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Graduation Can Be a Tricky Time for Ignorantics...

Get out your Dollar Store finest, because this chick has "gradeated" and she's happy about it! Here, the name and the face has been blurred to protect the ignorant! I don't know about you but the Dollar Store is always my first stop for shopping right after graduation! [insert sarcasm just in case you don't know me by now]

Wonder where she's heading after "gradeation"? Grad school? a job? the Dollar store? Great Adventures? Your guess is as good as mine!

Oh, and just in case you are wondering if this was a typo...the "u" is not that close to the "e" on the keypad for this to be a typing mistake. Yes, I did try to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Ignorantic Names...The First 50

Ignorantics can be harmless when their ignorance is self-contained, but when they "brand" their defenseless newborns with disgraceful ignorant names, then that is when it becomes criminal...or least in this blogger's eyes, it becomes criminal.

Yesterday, I was informed by a friend that she met a toddler whose first and middle name is Benadryl Allegra. I immediately thought to myself, what is next? Naming your child Zyrtecia Claritana? Well, I sent a cry for help out to my readers (the response was overwhelming) and here is a list of 50 ignorantic names (the last names are being withheld to protect the child) :

1. Formica Dinette
2. Cymbalis Lynette
3. Redwine Pinot
4. Netflix Tuesday
5. Moscato d'Nasti
6. Cancerina Bali
7. Cami Seal
8. Diabetrix Lynn
9. Barackine Husseina
10. Pink Iz
11. Iraqa Irana
12. Levitayshia Heaven
13. Madame Butterflies
14. Labia Corinne
15. Lakadaisia Norine
16. (Twins): Denise & Denephew
17. Crucifixio (but they call him "Cross" for short)
18. Elephantia Greyson
19. Coffee Teaia
20. Quality Tyme
21. Adeal Issadeal
22. Sprintiana Textasius
23. Lasagnia Marinetta
24. Tarjay (named after the store "Target")
25. Crematia Miracle
26. Collardane Mustasious
27. Corporana Lee
28. Judge Jurine
29. Lexus Monetia
30. Playdohnna Cherise
31. Vitamina E.
32. Escalade Matte
33. Magnolia Scout
34. Wachovian Lynn
35. Vazlynn Carmen
36. Marijuana Pepsi ( Article About the Teacher Named Marijuana)
37. Twins: Zenacious and Tenacious
38. Orangjello
39. F'male Joquanna
40. FreeJanay Camille
41. Folder Legaline
42. Amazon Dotcomany
43. Coors Litia
44. Whiting Filetia
45. Denzellington Washina
46. Pooch Halsey
47. Camera Lenz
48. Bauschayla Lombrisha
49. Can Fantina
50. Gunz ABlazin (no lie...some miscreant actually named their son this) this rate y'all, I may have to start a part 2, 3, and 4! ...and the names are still coming in thanks to all my readers!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Special Ignorantic Message: Happy Muvah's Day!

This is a big day of celebration for the Ignorantic. Ignorantics around the world, despite the fact that they search for and buy "Mother's Day" cards for their mothers, cannot resist the temptation to skewer their mothers like shrimp with an enthusiastic "Happy Muvah's Day"! 

As if they don't deserve if they didn't go through hours of labor, years of life lessons, tending to our cuts, bruises, egos, etc....only to be called "Muvah" on Mother's Day.

If this ignorantic fits YOU, please give your mother a treat today and call her by her first name or just simply say THANK YOU and point to the card!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Rollback: Oscar-lating Fans in Aisle 8!

Everyone loves the cool breezes that flow from a fan in the Spring. Last week, when I was in the store shopping for a larger fan for my office, I was hit with another Ignorantic. It came out of nowhere and it took me by wasn't a word, it wasn't was just plain IGNORANT! Folks, look to your left...what you see is what the Ignorantic in Walmart referred to as an "Oscar-lating Fan"!

Hey! We are naming everything else...why not our fans? I can't think of any other explanation for this slip. To most of us who hold the English language near and dear, we recognize that this is an Oscillating Fan. How did this fan become an Oscar? Shaking my head with my fan on!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Today's Ignorantic is NOT a WORD!

...just a picture. You really cannot get any more ignorant than this!