Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Well, not to be undone...enter the Ignorantic parent who is also full of pride and joy at her son's accomplishments except this time it is not for scholastic achievement, it is for being voted the "Prisoner of the Month"! ...and heck, who needs a bumper sticker when you can just go to the Dollar Store and get those peel and stick letters that can spell out anything you want! No sentence is too short or too long...or should I say no paragraph, as in this case...space and distractibility is not a problem! Congrats #45678908875! You made your Momma proud...so much so that she defaced her car for you!
Posted by Ignorantics at 9:34 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Enter at your own risk. I won't bother to go through the entire article. Instead, I will leave that up to you: http://praisephilly.com/2090385/james-fortune-child-abuse/ Now the allegations are explosive enough and also very serious, then add the ignorantics. As I read this article, I felt as if the writer was "be-raiding" me! Lord, how in the world did someone bath a child in "scolding" hot water?
I hope they get to the bottom of this alleged abuse...because these charges ARE NO laughing matter!
Posted by Ignorantics at 5:08 PM
Oh, and I neglected to tell you that my reader made of point of telling me that this sign was in a Lexus. [drops the mic and walks off the stage]
Posted by Ignorantics at 2:10 PM
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Posted by Ignorantics at 10:59 PM
Our next Ignorantic is preparing for his wedding day and he is nervous. He is particularly nervous because the bride-to-be has thrown a wrench into his program...his very existence...there is a threat that he could be exposed, and he is not happy about it. What am I referring to? The entire wedding party, the minister, guests and more importantly, the bride, will find out that Mr. Groom is an Ignorantic. He's known it all along but this time, the jig is up.
This Ignorantic revealed to his cousin that the big day was going to be uncharted waters. In an email, he stated that "not only did he have to stand before all those guests and profess his undying love, he had to write his own "vowels"". That's right...he was going to write his wedding "vowels". Can you think of anything more romantic than writing your own wedding "vowels"? Do you think he will be able to use all five (5) vowels in his vows? That could be quite a feat, eh? I "guest" we will have to wait for the wedding to "fine" out. The anticipation...
Posted by Ignorantics at 4:24 PM
Friday, June 22, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Now Dads, I know that you can use the relaxation on this special day; so, do yourself a favor: take off your shoes, elevate your feet, and pour yourself a glass of wine...I guess the wine will help the "unwining" process. [wink]
Enjoy your day Dads!
Posted by Ignorantics at 2:31 AM
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Enter strong arm....poor thing, all he wanted to do is give the world a bit of encouragement and hope. The best way to do this would be to tattoo something inspirational on his arm, right?
Well, that would be right if it wasn't so wrong...[I'll give you a moment to check out the tattoo] Sigh...somebody stepped on a double negative mine in the Ignorantics field, didn't they? That's right, that little double negative bug landed right on this tattoo artist's brain as he was creating this tattoo and it instructed him to "never don't give up"! Eureka!
Now, to Ignorantics, a double negative feels good...it rolls off the tongue very smooth and clear. The person speaking feels good but the person hearing the message feels assaulted. Like right now...just looking at this tattoo is burning my eyes!
Can someone "past" me a tissue?
Posted by Ignorantics at 9:52 AM
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Now, if these dogs were moving at a pace similar to that of the dogs on this picture, they would have been moving rapidly, but we all know that was not what this Ignorantic meant because the dogs were actually walking at a slow pace...so, she meant to say that the dogs were running "rampant" all over the park without a leash. Perhaps, in this particular situation, we can give this person a half-pass because she was both excited and scared which tends to bring out the worst in Ignorantics. Then again, this is just wrong.
As you were...
Posted by Ignorantics at 2:51 PM
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Really OG? Your Blueberry? How much do these Blueberries cost? and where can I "pick" one up? I don't know about the Blueberry, but that Blackberry is great for texting!
..and they say money is the "fruit" of all evil! SMH.
Posted by Ignorantics at 6:01 PM