"Come Clam Up into My Cheer Little Boy"

I am starting this blog post with a question? Should Santa be required to speak correctly? I mean, when we employ the mall Santas, or any Santa for that matter, should they be subjected to a speech test? Educational requirements (which quite frankly doesn't mean much these days as most ignorantics have college degrees)?Ok...but nothing really difficult; just an examination on average conversations...subject/verb agreement...verb tense...for example, like the proper way to invite a child to sit on your lap.

Now, we all are familiar with seafood. Personally, my familiarity with seafood stops at sight because I am allergic to seafood. However, I do know what "clams" look like, and I do know that "clams" are seafood. Furthermore, I know that during the holidays, most people are filled with holiday "cheer" and the Christmas spirit. However, as we begin the Christmas season in a few weeks, I am reminded of a Santa Claus who met my son last year at the local mall. My son really wanted to talk to Santa so I finally took him over to the Santa, and Santa shouted "Hey little boy, come `clam' up into my `cheer' and tell me what Santa can bring you!" My son, being the child of a reformed ignorantic, very boldly remarked "clam? you are so silly Santa Clause, I don't want any clams?" Then, the Santa looked up at me with that "deer in the headlights" look and said "Did I say clam...I meant to say `clambed'"

[***blank stare*** and a pause for a station break or medication]

Yes...he went there...; he put an incorrect word into past tense when speaking in the present tense. No, he made up a word. No, he improperly used a noun and made it into a verb incorrectly...No, he did what all ignorantics do...he said what flowed off his tongue, what was familiar to him, what he heard over and over in his environment, and he did it on Christmas Eve!

Although its a little early to be telling a Christmas story. I hope I didn't ruin your Christmas cheer...I would hate to interfere with any child's ability to clam into Santa's lap and tell him what he or she wants for Christmas.