HAPPY FANKSGIVING!

The first ignorantic has just been committed during the holidays. I had to make a last minute run to the grocery store this morning and the cashier wished me a "Happy Fanksgiving"! Who says that you have to be correct when wishing someone well on a holiday? Is there a rule for that? Apparently NOT. Why use the "th" when the "f" is so much easier to pronounce? 

Never met an ignorantic that wasn't happy! Wrong but happy! Remember, ignorantics never take off for the holidays!


Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Ignorantics readers!

So...Alaska's Chief Ignorantic is Getting a New Offer She Can't Refudiate!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_theticket/20101115/pl_yblog_theticket/almost-5-million-people-watched-sarah-palins-alaska

The New Oxford American Dictionary has named "refudiate" 2010's Word of the Year. This is the academy award for ignorantics. Getting acknowledgement from a reputable dictionary can and will set an ignorantic back years. I hope there is someone in Palin's camp who will be able to handle the possible blowback from this honor. It will undoubtedly do her more harm than good. It may even lead to a Palin Dictionary...[a moment of silence]


Why can't more mainstream ignorantics get a nod in the Webster-Merriam or Oxford American Dictionary? The words we create are much more creative, aren't they?...I'm moving to Alaska!

I Never Met a KennyGarten Child I Didn't Like!

How many of you have children who either went to kennygarten or kindergarden? Believe it or not both terms are synonymous in the ignorantic's world...and yes, they do co-exist.

There is no rhyme or reason to its use. It is just an ignorantic word staple that is embedded deep into the fabric of society.

Don't "ack" like you don't say it! LOL!

"Come Clam Up into My Cheer Little Boy"

I am starting this blog post with a question? Should Santa be required to speak correctly? I mean, when we employ the mall Santas, or any Santa for that matter, should they be subjected to a speech test? Educational requirements (which quite frankly doesn't mean much these days as most ignorantics have college degrees)?Ok...but nothing really difficult; just an examination on average conversations...subject/verb agreement...verb tense...for example, like the proper way to invite a child to sit on your lap.

Now, we all are familiar with seafood. Personally, my familiarity with seafood stops at sight because I am allergic to seafood. However, I do know what "clams" look like, and I do know that "clams" are seafood. Furthermore, I know that during the holidays, most people are filled with holiday "cheer" and the Christmas spirit. However, as we begin the Christmas season in a few weeks, I am reminded of a Santa Claus who met my son last year at the local mall. My son really wanted to talk to Santa so I finally took him over to the Santa, and Santa shouted "Hey little boy, come `clam' up into my `cheer' and tell me what Santa can bring you!" My son, being the child of a reformed ignorantic, very boldly remarked "clam? you are so silly Santa Clause, I don't want any clams?" Then, the Santa looked up at me with that "deer in the headlights" look and said "Did I say clam...I meant to say `clambed'"

[***blank stare*** and a pause for a station break or medication]

Yes...he went there...; he put an incorrect word into past tense when speaking in the present tense. No, he made up a word. No, he improperly used a noun and made it into a verb incorrectly...No, he did what all ignorantics do...he said what flowed off his tongue, what was familiar to him, what he heard over and over in his environment, and he did it on Christmas Eve!

Although its a little early to be telling a Christmas story. I hope I didn't ruin your Christmas cheer...I would hate to interfere with any child's ability to clam into Santa's lap and tell him what he or she wants for Christmas.

Thanksgiving is on a Thirsty!

Breaking News!!!! According to the young woman pumping gas next to me this morning, Thanksgiving is on a Thirsty!

I asked her to repeat the statement and like a true ignorantic, she repeated it with emphasis "I SAID, Thanksgiving is on a T-H-I-R-S-T-E-E"! To which I replied, "Oh, snap, I thought it was on a Friday this year"...she then said, "No, gurl, Black Friday is on a Friday!"

Stopped pumping gas. Got receipt. Closed my door. Headed home. Laid down.

Now, where is my bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol?

Hello Everyone...Meet La-a!




This caption speaks for itself. Ignorantics is now hemorrhaging into name selection. I hope this is not the real picture of this child.

 



















Ok...who said ignorantics can't incorporate punctuation into their language. Well, here it is right here. "The dash don't be silent!" This child's name is La-a (pronounced Ledasha). This is a little scary because it is another level of ignorantics that I rarely ever see: ignorantical punctuation. I do have one suggestion for family members, hospital personnel, vital records representatives, and/or anyone who may come in contact with an ignorantic while they are in the process of name selection. Explain to the person selecting the name that if they have to explain the name by asking English-speaking people to ignore the rules of grammar and punctuation, they should abandon the name. If that doesn't work, take the steps to spell the name correctly, defying the ignorantic and saving the life of the child. Chances are the won't ever glance at the birth certificate again.

Palin May Have Set Things in Motion for a Historical Breakthrough!

This morning, I was reading that Merriam-Webster may in the near future place "accepted" words or strange hybrids in the dictionary. All of this prompted by one of the most popular political Ignorantics, Sarah Palin. WOW, who would have thunk it! Her little ignorantic this summer, "refudiate" is Merriam-Webster's "Word of the Summer" and it is not a word!

I guess you could say that's one small step for Merriam-Webster; one giant leap for Ignorantics!....Here is the link to the article: http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/2684990,CST-NWS-palinword08.article