How Do You Stop Blood Clocks?

I swear to you...since I have been writing this blog, it seems like Ignorantics are stalking me. I run into an Ignorantic everyday now. It used to be every other day, maybe twice a week, but now, I am constantly running into them.



This morning, I am in the Rite-Aid getting a prescription filled. I'm standing in line, and once again, there is someone loud and wrong in line with me. Dressed in thigh highs with heels she has worn down to the nail, a honey blonde weave, and a gold sparkler on the side (her gold tooth), she asks the pharmacist: "'Secuze me...but do you sell anything to stop blood clocks?" The pharmacist looked down through his reading glasses and said "No Ma'am..., other than wound care, you should probably see a doctor if you think you have blood clots" Then she said " I did. That is why I am here to get my high blood pressure subscription filled!" **DEAD**

Have You Ever Been Really Frusgraded?

Have you ever been frusgraded? I have not, but apparently, the young lady who was in the line at Food Lion this afternoon whose card was declined twice was very "frusgraded".

The cashier ran the card the first time and it appeared to be a card error, but when she tried it again, it said "DECLINED". Well, you might guess that there is nothing that says embarrassing like a DECLINED when you are in a long line in front of several people.

So, in a very exasperated tone she exclaimed "This is so damn frusgrading!" "Just frusgrading!" Then, she turn to me and repeated the ignorantic. So, I said "I would imagine that it could be very frustrating..." Surprisingly, she turned and corrected me saying "No, I said frusgrading...there is a difference..." As I stood there in shock, the cashier jumped in and said "You are right, there is a difference, when your card has been declined three times because you know you have no money on it, it is frusgrading; it only becomes frustrating when it is our error!"

For Ignorantics, "Big Boned" is the New Plus Size!

Each time that I travel the Twitter highway, I run across something interesting...something Ignorantic. Yesterday was no different. As my Tweets were coming in at lightning speed, one tweet caught my eye from LifeLOL:

@LifeLOL Life LOL

I hate it when people say they aren't fat, but they're big boned. I don't know about everyone else but I've never seen a fat skeleton.

Aside from being absolutely hilarious (the comment from LifeLOL), this is a classic ignorantic that has been used for decades. Where did this come from? Perhaps, it may have originated from the characterization of having a small, medium or large frame. It may have something to do with the fact that a healthy weight is somehow determined by the size of your frame, but there is no medical term or measurement called "Big-Boned". From its ignorantic use, it would appear that it is being used as an adjective. However, "boned" is not an adjective, it is a verb. The verb "boned" means "to remove the bones from" or "to stiffen with stays"[1] Now, we all know that "boned" is also in the urban dictionary. Dare I say that its inclusion in the urban dictionary may have something to do with the verb definition of "boned"?  In any event, ladies and gents, stop thinking of yourself as "big-boned", and start calling yourself "Large Framed"! 


[1] http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Boned

Don't You Dare Challenge The Republican's Mendacity!!

My fellow Ignorantics...this is a good one for a few reasons. First, it is so totally wrong that it has become viral on YouTube. Second, because it is so totally wrong, it has forced millions of Ignorantics and educated people to look up the word "mendacity" and add it to their vocabulary! Isn't that nice? Finally, it is great because it proves that even the educated among us can be Ignorantics.

Lesson: Mendacity means LIE. So, when Rep. King was fired up about his colleagues' record in Congress, he committed a bit of a Freudian slip and said that his colleagues' mendacity was being challenged instead of his veracity (TRUTH). Isn't this rich?

How many of you get the opportunity to use "mendacity" in a sentence? Ignorantic, Rep. King, has given us ALL a vocabulary gift that we can use, but don't you dare let me see the following abuse: "Gurl, that man had the mandacity to tell me that he didn't like my dress!"

Ignorantics, let's make this a true "teachable" moment and stay in our lane. The double line represents new vocabulary that you don't use without consulting a Dictionary first. Mendacity is one of those words on the other side of the double line. In other words, no passing! Don't get happy with a new word you have never used before. Start with the basics and use Google. YourDictionary.com has a great piece called "Used in a Sentence". Make it your first New Year's bookmark. I don't want to see anyone commit a DWIs (Driving While Ignorant)!

Ted Williams Greatfully Appreciates ALL of His Recent Fame!

Now, this is a story that moved everyone in America, but I just could not ignore the sign...and neither should you!

Ted, I think I speak for most of America when I say that we are all pulling for your success, continued, sobriety, and well, maybe...could you? would you? please? get a dictionary or start using Google!

I Know that Reading is Fundamental, but on Twitter...

...spelling needs to be. To all my Twitter Junkies, I have one question: Can anyone spell on Twitter? I know there is a character restriction, but is that an excuse for spelling "the" "and" "me" "her" "his" and other two and three letter words incorrectly? I'm just saying...

I said it once and I'll say it again, Twitter provides food and shelter for the Ignorantic...its all warm and fuzzy for them in Tweetland, USA! SMH...

Just Because it Sounds Right, Doesn't Make it Write!

If you had to read this Blog title more than once, you are an Ignorantic. This blog title is what I affectionately refer to as Ignorantic Alliteration.

Don't despair...Acceptance is the first step in admitting you are an Ignorantic, and it is a step in the right direction that this self-awakening is happening at the very beginning of the year...

For 2011, make "Google" your best friend and the homepage on your Internet Explorer. It will save your life.